Khozrev's main passion is his immoderate stinginess. The Sultan, knowing this, played a very amusing joke on him not so long ago. He gave him a beautiful house on the Bosphorus, which had long been confiscated from an Armenian and was very neglected. The Seraskier repaired the house and furnished it with luxury and taste; he opened new terraces for gardens in the mountain, brought in water, built baths and fountains, and when everything was finished, he invited the Sultan, wishing to show how highly he valued his gift, for the decoration of which he spared nothing. The Sultan was so delighted with these improvements that, doing full justice to the taste of the old miser, he took his house back! (From the work of Mr. Bazili.) At half past six, I, with my interpreter, set off on a caique to Constantinople. Having crossed the harbor, I took a riding horse and rode quietly to the old Seraglio, now the Seraskier's Palace. There, it seems, they were waiting for me: four or five Turks stood at the porch, and as soon as I rode up, they came up to hold my stirrup. I dismounted from the horse, and, by agreement, sent the horses and my servant home. I was escorted up the stairs to the first room, where I found about four military men. When I entered, they stood up, and one of them showed me the door, and the Arab standing nearby opened it. The second room was a large, long hall, half covered with carpets; in the corner stood a large divan. I learned later that in this room, in the mornings, the Seraskier receives petitions and grants audiences. Here several old men were sitting on the carpet and writing something. I waited for a minute until an official came out to me and asked me to go further. I passed the third room, which was much smaller than the first ones; here two Arabs pulled back a damask curtain that served as a door to the corner room: there I saw the Seraskier. He stood, leaning on shelves with papers, and held one paper in his hands. Seeing me, he immediately took a few steps to meet me, invited me to sit down, and, anticipating me, sat down on the divan standing in the corner of the room. I looked around the whole room, and saw that it was furnished in a semi-European taste. Two sofas and several armchairs upholstered in damask, wallpaper, two mirrors, belonged to Europe; in small niches, or hollows in the wall, stood baskets with flowers; an incense burner spread the fragrance of aloe; Egyptian mats with images of flowers covered the floor; a small fountain in the middle played in a marble basin: this belonged to Asia. As soon as we sat down on the same divan, we were served pipes; I did not start smoking until the Seraskier began (courtesy required it). The servants went out, and instead of them an interpreter entered and stood before us. After being silent for a minute, Khozrev told me that he had seen me in Kiat-Khane, at the Sultan's, and that, at first glance, my appearance attracted his attention and disposed him to friendship. I answered that the favor and friendship of such a man as the Seraskier were very flattering to me, and I would try in every possible way to justify them. Again half a minute of silence; after this he asked: do I have any commissions from my Sovereign, and if I do, then he offers his services, and is ready to assist me in whatever he can. I answered that I had served for 40 years, but now I am retired from service; I have no commissions whatsoever, but travel out of curiosity; and I came to Constantinople solely to see the Sovereign, the reformer of the East, who now lives in special friendship with my Sovereign. Having thought a little, Khozrev said: 'Yes, of course in friendship, no matter what other people say.' — And what do they say, Seraskier? — 'That we should not rely too much on you, that you are friends today, and tomorrow not.' Here he laughed and added: 'You cannot forbid lying, after all!' — These people, Seraskier, either do not know our Sovereign at all, or they slander. Our Sovereign is so great that He has no need to assure of what He does not think. His word is law, and He does not change it. I guess what people you are talking about. Tell me: did these friends help you against the rebelling Mohammed Ali? No, they sold him ships, cannons, shells — 'True, true,' interrupted the Seraskier. — They have one God: self-interest — I continued — they know no other. Trade, profit, that is the only goal of their policy. Our Sovereign is above all this: honor, magnanimity, and the public good, these are the objects of His thoughts! Conquests would be easy for Him, but He does not need them and He does not think about them. The ruler of almost a third of the globe has no need for new acquisitions; they will burden Him more than they will bring Him benefit. He showed His friendship for the Sultan in deed: barely the slightest danger appeared from your rebels, when His Fleet and army appeared at the disposal of Mahmud. One gleam of Russian bayonets eliminated Ibrahim and ended the war. This is friendship, Seraskier, and a selfless one at that — Khozrev said to me to this: 'You speak the absolute truth! The Russian Sovereign is great, and our Sultan honors and loves Him. If ever your Tsar is in need, the Sultan is ready to help.' Here the servants entered and took the pipes; others served coffee. Over coffee the Seraskier asked me how long I would stay in Constantinople, and promised to send a kavas (*), so that I could walk freely everywhere. Having thanked him, I answered that I suppose to stay here for about three more days, and will go to Nicomedia and Bursa. 'Peki' (good) he said. 'This is very opportune: Akhmet Pasha is going there at the same time; I will entrust you to him, and he will treat you there.' Here Khozrev clapped his hands: everyone, and even the interpreter, went out (**). Other servants appeared, with silver washstands: one threw a thin muslin towel, embroidered with gold at the ends, over my shoulder, brought a basin and poured rose water on my hands. I washed my hands and mouth, and dried myself with the towel; the Seraskier did the same, only much longer than me. When these servants also went out (* In Constantinople janissaries used to be given; now, instead of them, they give kavases from the police, or other lower ranks. ** The interpreter spoke, all the time, purely and fluently in French; but his pronunciation showed that he must be a Greek, or an Italian.), others placed between us, on the same divan on which we were sitting, a low plane-tree table, and an Arab brought on his head a large copper dish, on which there were about ten plates of various dishes. I was served a tortoiseshell spoon. As one long accustomed to oriental meals, I was not at a loss, and, after my host, took food with my hands from some plates. The first course did not stand before us for a minute; it was taken away and another was served. It seems during the second course, the Seraskier crushed some pilaf in his palm and handed it to me. Although I did not like this very much, knowing that he wanted thereby to show me attention and affection, I respectfully accepted the piece and ate it. I will not describe the dishes here: there were about a hundred of them. I ate a roasted quail, which I tore apart with my hands, about three pieces of kebab, and a few puff pastries with jam. When our silent meal ended, we were again served to wash, exactly as before dinner; they fumigated us with aloe, and the servants went out: the Seraskier and I were left alone. There was no interpreter, consequently I was forced to remain silent; the Seraskier too; but he did not take his eyes off me, and his quick gaze seemed to penetrate my insides. Here began a scene which I will never forget. The host clapped his hands again. An Arab entered: in his right hand he held two golden goblets, and on his left was placed a silver bucket with snow in which a bottle was hidden; by its familiar shape, I immediately recognized the presence of champagne wine. Measuring the goblets with my eyes, I saw that each could easily hold six ordinary champagne glasses. Having placed the goblets before us, the Arab filled them with wine; it foamed little, consequently more of it fit in. The Seraskier immediately took his goblet, and, nodding his head, said to me in pure Russian: khvatim! [let's down it!] I almost burst out laughing; but fortunately restrained myself, and importantly repeated to him: khvatim! He smiled, and truly downed the entire goblet at once to the last drop. I followed his example, and when I had drained my goblet, I turned it upside down. He said to me then: peki, peki (good, good), and ordered to pour another. I wanted to object, not being accustomed to drinking much; but I thought that I could still hold my own against an 80-year-old man, and decided not to fall behind him. We drank another; again: peki, peki! After this Khozrev dozed off; the Arab went out and immediately returned with a new bottle. The wine was of excellent quality, it seems Sillery rosé. I still did not feel any intoxication, and decided, in my turn, to challenge the Seraskier to a battle. He continued to doze; I pointed the Arab to the goblets; he obeyed and poured us wine again. Khozrev glanced, and seeing my full goblet, smiled. Then I said to him: khvatim! He burst out laughing, said: peki, and drank the last goblet with me. Here he fell asleep in earnest. The Arab went out, and I, having waited a little, and supposing that my host was fast asleep, began to rise in order to leave him in peace; but he woke up and gave me a sign with his hand so that I would not leave, clapped his hands, and when the servant entered, ordered to call the interpreter, who probably stood behind the doors, because he appeared immediately. The Seraskier ordered him to tell me that he asks me to stay with him until morning, that it is now late, the streets are dark; and it is not proper for a person of another faith to leave the Seraskier's chambers so late. I answered that I would gladly fulfill his will, but I only fear lest they be alarmed about me at home, and report this to our Envoy, who, not having been warned by me, will not know what to think. The Seraskier answered: 'peki, peki, I will send an adjutant to your house.' Here, having thanked him for the treat, and asking him to continue his favor towards me, I wished him a good night and trudged out of the room; I walked quite steadily, only my head was spinning a little. A small room was prepared for me, where, on a soft divan, lay a lion's skin, and at the head were morocco pillows. A slave took off my boots, tailcoat, and when I lay down, covered me with a thin muslin coverlet against flies. I soon fell fast asleep. Early in the morning, when I woke up, the same slave served me to wash, and then brought coffee. After him entered yesterday's interpreter, asked me on behalf of the Seraskier about my health, and when I wanted to go to him myself, to thank him for the treat, he told me that Khozrev had already been sitting in the Divan for a long time, receiving petitions and granting audiences; that he had instructed him to ask me not to trouble myself, and that a boat and escorts were ready for me. I gave 40 piastres of baksheesh to the slave who served me, bowed to the interpreter and set off for home. I was led through some corridor, onto a small porch, and I came out onto a completely different street from the one I had arrived on the day before. Two Turks were waiting for me here. One, with a large stick, walked ahead, the other walked beside me. We wandered through the side streets for quite a long time, and everyone we met respectfully stepped aside. Finally we came out, through Baluk-Bazar, to the pier, where the Seraskier's boat was waiting for me. There the helmsman took me by the arm and carefully led me down into the boat; the escorts, also having received a baksheesh (*) of 10 piastres, bowed and remained on the shore. As soon as we pushed off from the shore, the Turk standing on the bow of the boat began to shout something (* Here without baksheesh one cannot take a step anywhere: whether you get into a boat, get out of a caique, have a horse brought to you, or are shown the way, everywhere give money, of course not ten piastres, as I paid Khozrev's servants; but then I dined and spent the night at the Seraskier's! What a trifle!), and all the nearby and oncoming boats scattered in different directions, as if in fear hastening to clear the way for us. I even noticed that those vessels which stood at the pier opposite us hastened to withdraw, so that not a single one of them remained in place. Having gone ashore, I gave the rowers 25 piastres: they seemed very pleased with my generosity. Here a richly harnessed riding horse and two of the Seraskier's slaves were waiting for me. I rode up the steep mountain to my apartment, and the slaves walked before me on foot, all the way to the house. The innkeeper, my host, and my people had long been waiting for me at the doors in fear and bewilderment: they were overjoyed when they saw me on a rich horse, alive and well. Having given another 45 piastres of baksheesh to the Seraskier's grooms, I sent them home, and went to my room to write a report of my adventure.
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Not much remains for me to describe